you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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