No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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