i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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