I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize