I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
