He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she told me i tasted like america
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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