I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Randomize
