Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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