my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
