he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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