loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
