NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
