He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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