Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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