just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
