from now on my penis is your penis
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
