Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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