This is not my ceiling
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize