Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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