you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
