He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
