Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
