Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
