after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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