4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
