you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
