"it" just moved
I bet he comes in French.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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