I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Randomize
