I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
