If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
