I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
