We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
