WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
