3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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