are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
