Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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