let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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