dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
