so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
