were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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