And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
