I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My cat gives me a boner
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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