I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
