dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
