I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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