Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
