take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
