her vagine was all disorganized.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
