I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
where does the pee come out of this thing
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
