I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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