dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
