You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
