OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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