Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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