I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
how drunk are you?
Several
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
