"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
