You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
