i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
