Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
