Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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