Im at strip club and am horny
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
