Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
