check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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