Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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