So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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