I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
