you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
