i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
