yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
