And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
